Life has a strange way of working out for each person in the world, and while I may moan and whine about the way things work out for me, as like everyone else in the world, that's life. You learn how to deal with things, and everyone deals with things differently. People react in different ways to different things that happen through the day. For example, I hate confrontation, it makes me nervous, my heart rate picks up and I begin to worry for a while, whereas with some people, confrontation might not bother them as much. I hope that makes sense.
So recently, life has thrown a few curveballs at me, and before I know it, it's October (aka the best month of the year). My best friend has gone to University, I've suffered a loss of a family member, and my health has been up and down in the worst of ways.
It's got me thinking tonight. For the past week, I've been thinking about life overall, and frankly I think so many people, myself included, are rushing through life. We spend our weeks wishing for the weekend to come, which always goes too fast anyway. We don't realise how many days we are actually wishing away, which sucks really. So I've been taking my time with what I am doing (unless I am running late for something), and it's been lovely to not have to worry about anything.
It's got me thinking about how I feel in the world, and how I communicate with others, and then it got me thinking onto how many people actually know about who I am? The real me, anyway.
So I thought I'd try to show you what sort of person I really am underneath all the layers that I usually cover myself with.
1. I double check things. Then I double check that I've double checked it. Then I check again. I think this is how I get most of my exercise in life. So if I ask you to confirm something, something that I probably know for a fact I've done or got right, for example, locking the door, don't get irritated. It's just me.
2. If you ask me for a word away from others, I get nervous. By nervous I mean that I question everything I have done throughout the last week or so. I don't care who you are, but if you ask me for a word, I hope you're going to tell me a secret or give me some sort of 007 top secret mission, because otherwise I will not want to follow you away from people.
3. If I don't know you that well, I will be super nervous wondering if you like me or not. It comes with the fear of not wanting to be found annoying or irritating, or stupid or whatever... again... that's just me. Don't judge.
4. I don't really care about how I dress in public. I dress in a nice way, but I don't care if you don't like my style or the way that I look. I don't care if I look scruffy at Tesco's on a Sunday afternoon. I don't care if you don't like my stripy tights as I walk around town on a Saturday. I don't care if you stare at me, because my style makes me happy.
5. I have an odd accent. Deal with it. I realise I pronounce 'book' with an 'oo'. I'm not going to change the way I talk for you.
6. I get mad when people don't use the correct grammar word. For example: Your and You're, There, their and they're. I also don't like 'u' instead of 'you'. I get so angry.
7. I spend a lot of my time reading. This is mainly to escape from the real world for a bit, and have to think about someone else's problems besides my own. I will sit and read, and not say a word for hours on end, and it will be so much fun to me. I honestly just wish I could sit and read books all day every day. It would make my life amazing. #dreamjob. I should be a proof-reader...
8. I am ill a lot. Just in general like headaches and just that general feeling of 'I'd rather be in bed' because I don't feel up to it. It is however, something I'm working on.
9. My ambition has always been a writer, but some of the time I read my own writing and wonder why I even bother trying. (My friend may yell at me for this one). I'm so desperate to get my work out there, that when I try to put my thoughts down on paper, they just don't sound that good. I can't seem to comprehend that, although I have been writing for years, I'm still a beginner. I will still have to write something a few times before it becomes good enough for someone to enjoy. I just don't really have the patience.
10. I get lost in my head a lot. I'm a daydreamer, obsessed with one too many things, hopelessly in love, and... well... me.
I'm just me.
I hope that this will have a few people understand a bit more about me, and how I am as a person. There are a hundred other things I could put on there, but... I've got to keep some things private I suppose!
