One of the things I seem to continuously notice about society is how different people behave and how they are judged upon what they do and the way that they do it. They are judged on the way that they dress and the words that flow from them as they speak. Some people are really affected emotionally by the way that they are judged when they are out and about - doing the things that make them happy. If you weren't all that affected by it all, you're one of the lucky ones.
Take for example High School. All the way through high school you are in a certain... let's say clique. You behave like the others in the clique, follow after them, do what they do only to find the group has just been walking around in a large circle. You follow one person, they follow another, they follow another and so on until that one person is following you. There are so many common cliques in school, and you seem to find yourself stuck in one. To change is one of your most difficult challenges and if you don't succeed you find yourself with a label. Not always necessarily a bad thing - if you're in a good group.
"Because being with the Plastics was like being famous..." - Mean Girls
Take 'The Plastics' from the film 'Mean Girls' for example. The plastics were a group of three girls who were... ahem... mean. They seemed to believe that they were important in the school, like everyone looked up to them and wanted to be like them. Little did they know that not everyone had the same opinion. (See! No spoilers!).
The bottom line is that you cannot please everyone, and because you are put into these little groups depending on how you behaved, behaving any differently seemed to be frowned upon by the people who put you into the group in the first place. They believe you don't belong doing whatever it is out of the ordinary you have chosen to do. Such as if you generally went out with your friends, but instead on that one day you went to the library to do some research or have a quiet afternoon. Why should that be any different? Because people question what you are doing, it can make you feel uncomfortable to be where you are and do what you want to do.
People should never feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when they are doing what they like to do. Yes, the quiet ones are allowed to go out with their friends, the people who are usually in large groups are allowed to be alone for a while. I hate the fact that some people are questioned for doing something in the world, even if they love doing what they are doing. I can understand if it was dangerous or just plain stupid, but people should feel comfortable.
Every day now I sit for an hour and read, I read on the bus, at home lying down on my bed, when I am sat on a bench outside, when I am in the coffee shop... The list could go on forever. But sometimes I want to listen to my music, instead. I don't expect anyone to judge me for that, for doing something that I love.
For a long time now I have craved the freedom of being able to do whatever I want without the feeling of being judged by anyone. Although my self confidence may have improved, it still isn't top notch. As a quiet person generally, I will never be afraid to get myself up there. Yes I will go up on that stage and sing on karaoke night, yes I will read my personal writing to my friends in public and yes, when I am alone in the house I will belt my favourite songs out at the top of my voice even though it doesn't sound any good. And do you know why I do it?
Because it feels amazing. I will never allow myself to be judged for feeling good. Do what you want to do and let yourself feel amazing because I am telling you now...
There is no better feeling.
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