Shyness

Okay, so a lot of people wouldn't think of me as quite a shy person, right? 

You are all wrong. 

I can hide it well, being, I know when I need to be confident and I know how to act to make myself believe that I am confident, but I need a little push. 

An example, I hate taking compliments sometimes, for example, if someone said I have a nice smile. It's terrifying to me. I like having them of course, who doesn't? But sometimes I fail to believe it. When they leave, however, it will leave me in a good mood and I'll find myself blushing and always smiling. 

I can be confident when I am talking to strangers, but... It's difficult to explain. Like, if someone is sat behind me or next to me on the bus I will be anxious for the entire journey. I'll keep my distance and always be looking out for an empty seat where I can move to. 

It's difficult to say because, although I'm really shy. I know how to act confident, which brings out a little more confidence in myself, but you know when I am anxious. It's too obvious. 

The most difficult part of all of the shyness though, is really wanting people to read the things that I write, but never having enough courage to think it's good enough. I wish I knew how to act at that point, because if someone is reading what I write, I am scared. 

My blog is a way to get all these feelings out. I mean, I'm really not shy to know anyone reads the things about my life, real thoughts and feelings. 

But I'm scared of someone knowing the different wonders that go on in my mind that I can't express unless they're on paper, and even then the words don't last long.